Beauty For Ashes

by | Jul 26, 2021 | Faithfulness, Joy, Peace, Self-Control | 0 comments

Photo by Ivan Torres on Pexels.com

This morning I sit in my pj’s, reclined back against the wall, wrapped in my prayer shawl, laptop on my lap, and I remember…

I remember leaving the darkness of my pit of addiction and walking into the unknown and uncertainty of the Shenandoah Valley Adult & Teen Challenge program. It was a one year commitment that I wasn’t sure I would finish to the end. I was never a faithful commitment keeper so I assumed this would be no different.

I remember walking into the A-frame under the cover of one of the darkest nights of my life and immediately being confronted with the faces of people I had never met. The faces of people struggling to let go of their own bondage to addiction. It was overwhelming.

And I was terrified.

I remember crying myself to sleep that first night and every night for the next two weeks. I fight tears even now as I remember that feeling. The feeling of being absolutely alone in the world.

I remember being homesick, which was ironic because I didn’t have a home to call my own. Life had chewed me up and spit me out leaving my soul discarded like the trash I thought I was.

And I remember succumbing to the uncertainty of what depth of despair could possibly be next. It seemed unfathomable to me that anything less than death was possible.

For with God nothing shall be impossible.

Luke 1:37

These memories take me back to 2 years ago…back to a night when nothing seemed possible…back to a moment when all seemed lost…back to a decision that slowly turned impossibilities into a tiny ray of hope.

Two years ago today I walked away from a life of drug and alcohol abuse, illicit sexual affairs, manipulation, and every other activity that had led my life into the depths of depravity to which I was accustomed. Two years ago today I had no idea what I was getting into and no real expectation of the unknown.

But I stepped out in a faith I didn’t know I had.

Just 3 weeks after that I met the Man who relentlessly pursued me for so many years. The Man who, without my knowledge, shielded me from the death I was constantly seeking. The Man who held on to my heart even after I rejected Him. The same Man who died a horrific death on a cross so I could live.

I met Jesus.

And I’ve never looked back.

Today, I am 2 years clean and sober. Today, I have hope and a relationship with my Savior, Jesus Christ, that is unmatched to any I have ever experienced on this earth.

Today, I am grateful beyond measure for the beauty God has given me in exchange for the ashes of my past.

Thank you, Jesus, for your rescue 2 years ago. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, for the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted and to proclaim that captives will be released and prisoners will be freed. He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of the Lord’s favor has come, and with it, the day of God’s anger against their enemies. To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his glory. Isaiah 61:1-3 NLT

*If you or anyone you know is struggling with addiction, please reach out to any of the following resources:

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