Because of Me

04/03/2021

In full view of the Cross and acknowledging its gruesome realities on that day over 2000 years ago, there is still a beauty that I cannot fully describe appropriately. 

So…

I’d like to take you on a journey through my past that may prove to be difficult to read…but, perhaps, necessary. I know it’s necessary for me to remember where I came from and how I came to where I stand now.  

My life was death, if that makes any sense at all. I was entangled by so much sin that I could not see a way out of my own bondage. I chose death on a daily basis with no thought as to what that might mean. If my mouth was open, I was lying, manipulating, cheating or betraying. It was who I was, and I was not sorry. 

The Holy Spirit showed me something this morning that I don’t think I will ever forget. As I drove the 30 or so miles home from breakfast with a friend, I reflected on the true meaning of these three days…three days that changed history. In what I would assume was a vision, I saw the different horrors Jesus endured on that fateful Friday. I saw the crown of thorns shoved onto His head; I saw Him slapped repeatedly across the face; I saw Him mocked; I saw Him spit on… and more. But instead of a disconnect as though watching a movie, here is what I really saw…

When I lied, I saw my own arms reach out and push the crown of thorns into His skull. 

When I manipulated, I saw myself spit in His face. 

When I gossiped, I saw my own fist punch His body. 

When I hurt others with angry words, I heard the hammer slam down on the nails in His wrists.

When I chose to hold on to unforgiveness, I heard the same hammer come down on the nail in His feet. 

When I pretended to know and love Him, I saw myself kneeling in mock worship. 

When I had illicit sexual encounters, I saw my own hand slap Him across the face.

When I put a needle in my arm, I saw my own hand grasping the whip that struck His body. 

When I sold my body for drugs, I saw His flesh tear to shreds and heard Him cry out in pain. 

When I shook my fist and turned my back on Him, I heard my own voice cry out, “Crucify Him!” 

This morning, I watched in vivid detail, as MY sin crucified Jesus. I cannot tell you how deeply this hurts my very soul. 

“For God made Christ, who never sinned, to be the offering for our sin, so that we could be made right with God through Christ.” 2 Corinthians 5:21

He was the perfect, sinless, spotless Lamb of God, and He took on every disgusting thing I have ever done and will do. He took it all onto His own body. This isn’t even a full list of my transgressions. So imagine ALL of them on His body and then think of yours. Then think of the person sitting next to you. Then think of your neighbors, your church family, your sons, your daughters…think of every person who has ever lived and will live. Then imagine each person’s endless list of sin resting on ONE body. 

This, my friends, is called grace. And it is called mercy. 

We do not deserve it, yet it is freely given. We do, however, deserve each of the slaps, the punches, each slash of the whip, the nails in our hands and feet, and the spear in our side, yet mercy won’t allow it. 

Today, I kneel. Not in mock worship…but in true, humble worship to the Man who saved me from certain death by enduring the cross. I bow in reverent adoration to the Son of God who bore my sin and my shame. I cry tears of praise for nailing each of my transgressions to Him on the cross so that I could walk in freedom with Him today. 

He personally carried our sins in his body on the cross so that we can be dead to sin and live for what is right. By His wounds you are healed. 1 Peter 2:24