Because of Her…

“Your hairy legs make you look like a monkey under water, Amanda” she said with a slight smirk. My mom had taken us kids to the public pool that day and apparently the one time she put her head under water in play with us, she noticed the dark brown hairs dancing along the equally dark skin of my 10-year old legs. This elicited a purpose within my mother to teach me how to shave…and she did.

When I entered the fifth grade, I began to suffer severely with acne and became the butt of many jokes in class. I remember coming home, more often than not, in tears because I was teased relentlessly for my imperfect skin. Once again, mama purposefully taught me how to properly wash my face and how to wear just a smidge of makeup to help cover the unsightly red marks from unforgiving pimples. To this day, I still only wear foundation, a touch of blush, and mascara…just like she taught me.

My mama taught me how to do many practical things. Like, how to properly wash dishes; how to separate, wash, and fold laundry; how to iron; how to REALLY get down into the cracks and crevices during the ‘Saturday cleaning day’; how to cook (which I hate to do, by the way–sorry mom); and how to prepare my home for guests. She taught me that when visitors come, it doesn’t matter who they are, they should ALWAYS get the best bed in the house. When I was young, that usually meant the guests got HER bed. She taught me how to coordinate my clothes, shoes, and jewelry. (I have completely rebelled against this–again, sorry mom).

But, more than just the practical things mama taught me, she taught me so much more. I was her first baby, and she had me very young so, essentially, we kind of grew up together. This made for some pretty hard moments, some awkward moments, some sad moments, and some really funny moments. (I wonder if she remembers the first time I ever took a pregnancy test or the book I read in Kindergarten with a ‘bad word’ in it. *face palm*).

My mama doesn’t know it but she taught me to persevere. She taught me to keep moving even when there is every reason in front of me to stop and give up. She taught me that life isn’t always fair, and ‘whoever said it was, lied!’ She taught me that when you make a mistake, you might want to run from it, but it will always catch up to you.

My mama taught me how to reach out to Jesus. In the midst of a very traumatic moment, she showed up and handed me the Bible and instructed me to read Psalm 91. Her daddy gave that to her when she was afraid and she, then handed it over to me for the same reason. I still cling to that particular Psalm to this day because of her.

When I lived in active addiction, when I was in toxic relationship after toxic relationship, when my heart had been broken, when I had to give up my only child…mama was there. No one else…just mama. And when she finally had to turn me away because my addiction had taken too much from her, she demonstrated the highest form of love a mother could. It saved my life.

My mama wasn’t perfect, by any means. No mom is. But in my mama’s imperfection, she was perfect to me. We struggle with our relationship some days, but I never question if she will be there for me when I need her…and even when I don’t. 😉

Thank you, mama, for who you’ve been for me, to me, and with me through these 40 years. I don’t say it near as often enough, but I appreciate you, and I love you more than you could ever know this side of heaven. In fact, I love you to the moon and back. <3

My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction. What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9

(I kind of hate doing things when the world says it should be done–like posting this on Mother’s Day. So, yes, it’s ‘late’ by the world’s standards, but I hope it’s right on time for my mama.)